67. How to be Martha Stewart in Germany with no cooking supplies
Uh..you can’t
An L.A. girl moves to Germany with her new husband only to discover, it is NOT the happiest place in the world..only to become a Desperate Housewife. Follow her life through her first tumultuous year of culture explosion (not shock), mishaps, gripes and the blood, sweat and tears she goes through..Tongue in cheek or unequivocally true, you decide. Use it as a how to guide and what to prepare for before moving to Germany or just to laugh at the asinine events of Life in the Autobahn Lane!!
Look Hate is such a strong word, but I HAD to do something for me, for my sanity living here. Take this blog as something amusing, yes there are a few nice Germans and it can be a nice place to VISIT but NOT to live, sorry! I don't have to apologize for anything I wrote here, it was for me and I found it quite therapeutic. Call it neurotic, obsessive, negative or whatever, I did it for me and you can entertain yourself, educate yourself or just not read it at all! If you do, Enjoy! more to come, I'm sure..Oh and try to read it in order it's more fun! HAHA no. 24, 27, 137 are some of my faves
WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised
CK out the new pictures, they are HYSTERICAL! A picture says 1000 words...
WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised
CK out the new pictures, they are HYSTERICAL! A picture says 1000 words...
Note:
Just a quick note to say thanks for reading and sharing your comments, it makes me feel better to share this and laugh about it together, thought I was the crazy one here. Lesson learned is you can't take the city outta the girl and coming from America and LIVING in Germany is hard for us spoiled Americans! To answer some of your questions, I wrote the first half of this in 3-4 days, all this had happened and was in my head and this was the best way to let it out and my husband was sure sick of hearing it, so I found a more constructive way to let it out. Thanks again for reading and understanding. I hope it makes you laugh! I'm sure one day I will laugh about it too!
Here's my positive take on Germany
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April
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- 100. Getting stuck on a mountainWe did, we didn’t ...
- 101. The $100 Euro Turkey Dinner for 2!
- 102. Pizza, Pizza, and more Pizza!No, it doesn’...
- 103. Creatures of habit and the Flavorless Society
- 104. Viva La France and Freedom over the Border...
- 105. Why I LOVE Super U Hypermarkets and France...
- 106. Returning Shopping Carts for a EuroI hate ...
- 107. Bread lasts only 2 Days!
- 108. So, I have to go to the market AGAIN!
- 109. And brown bread tastes like ROCK
- 110. Pork has a peculiar smellIt really does, m...
- 111. Do you SEE FRESH SEAFOOD? I can’tMan I cou...
- 112. 1000 cheeses and counting
- 113. That’s why it takes…The 3 hour Market Trip
- 114. Heidi KlumShe’s everywhere on every tv sho...
- 115. American Music ROCKS!Thank god for good ‘o...
- 116. Just another Friday night at the English s...
- 117. Passport Control-“You MUST learn German!”Y...
- 118. My Trusty Heater, the Best $10 Euros EVER!...
- 119. Sleeping with the windows open when it’s s...
- 120. They took away my driving rights!!I have b...
- 121. THE BIG GERMAN BROTHER IS WATCHING
- 122. We make the rules, it is FORBIDDEN, signs ...
- 123. I’m a REBEL gosh darn it!
- 124. I miss the FREEDOM in the USA!
- 125. God BLESS America
- 126. Dreaming every night of Beaches and Sun
- 127. 5 hour driving commute
- 128. Sneaky RadarsWatch out, they’re everywhere...
- 129. The 4 month Pillow DilemmaSizes of pillows...
- 130. Stiff Beds, Stiff Backs and Stiff NecksWhi...
- 131. The Too Narrow ComforterUmmm, on a king si...
- 132. Doing Ikea in 4 Countries and packing, tra...
- 133. NO Flat Sheets anywhere!Just get used to i...
- 134. Sizes of Sheets and other math calculation...
- 135. The Google Translate BarI use it, A LOT
- 136. Any research, phone calls everything takes...
- 137. I am a HUMAN transporter/mule, I lugged ev...
- 138. Double Taxation
- 139. 20% VAT and 4% Import TaxDo the math.
- 140. Austrians are nicer, even THEY don’t like ...
- 141. The Beef DilemmaWow huge problem for me, e...
- 142. When we moved to our second apartment, I tol...
- 143. The Friendly Delivery ManSEGMULLER!!!!! Is...
- 144. Leave the bathroom open PLEASE!!I’m sorry ...
- 145. The Washing MachineHolds 1 duvet cover, 1 she...
- 146. The Dishwasher That Holds 1 PotWhy do I fe...
- 147. Let Us Control Your Heating For YouIf I am...
- 148. Living with Half a RefrigeratorI learned a...
- 149. Dryers that Don’t DryMaybe cause there’s n...
- 150. Living With Broken AppliancesEverything ha...
- 151. Rules of a Houseguest and the Ungrateful G...
- 152. The Land of Discount Shopping but it’s not...
- 153. Ugly Wall RadiatorsThey’re ugly, old, a th...
- 154. No Parking Where You LiveOne of the amusin...
- 155. GUTEN TAG!! Can you please turn down the v...
- 156. Oh it’s just a 10 min walk…Yeah right, nev...
- 157. No Air ConditioningDidn’t really exist whe...
- 158. No IceIf they have it, you gotta ask.
- 159. The Land of No’s
- 160. And The Land of No ReturnLike I said befor...
- 161. Memory of Concentration CampsEvery time I ...
- 162. Sometimes for fun, I like to hear the word...
- 163. Short FUSE!I feel I have acquired a short ...
- 164. We have a swimming pool in our Apartment b...
- 165. $15 Euros to Wash Your Car, but You Have t...
- 166. The number of Pin Numbers to know in Germa...
- 167. Rules of the German Gym-you must bring and u...
- 168. Speaking of Techno Music...It's everywhere, ...
- 169. The $15 Euro KeyNo, seriously, just last wee...
- 170. The Land of Really Bad MulletsNo, not the cu...
- 171. David HasselhoffNeed I say more??
- 172. The Sour (Cream) German TeacherWe have 2 lan...
- 173. These Eggs Can Fly...and I hope I don't Die!...
- 174. Speaking of Pins...So I wrote in no. 166. ab...
- 175. No We Do Not All Look Alike!Ok, I'm Asian an...
- 176. How to Spend $50 in 5 min-park the car in Mu...
- 177. The Cost of MagazinesLet's expand on this, I ...
- 178. Yellow and RedReally people, this color combi...
- 179. Thank God for IKEA!Everything in my apartmen...
- 180. Freezing WaterIt will be 10 degrees below fr...
- 181. Dogs are More Valued than KidsI know, sounds...
- 182. Effects of Hard Water-dry, rough skin-dehydr...
- 183. German PoliceIf you don't hear from me for a...
- 184. Deduct 1 Star at HotelsThroughout Europe, be...
- 185. Last night we had Shabu Shabuhere's what it ...
- Just a quick note, I'm starting another blog calle...
- 186. 1.3 FeetDo you know how wide 1.3 feet is?? Th...
- 187. Murder on the 5th FloorThere will one less Ge...
- 188. Every 10 minutesEvery 10 minutes the internet...
- 189. The Land of ShitLook at every single piece of...
- 190. No Garbage DisposalsIt's a big one and it des...
- 191. Kitchen is a Demolition ZoneBecause there ar...
- 192. Eeewww it's starting to smell...Let's not fo...
- 193. The Closet ConspiracySo, my local contractor...
- 194. Trash it!Had a nice conversation about this ...
- 195. TerrifiedI realized as we open up our mail ev...
- 196. Love Thy NeighborsI just want to remind you h...
- 197. If it's warm elsewhere it will be rainy here...
- 198. To be fair...Although I really can't stand so...
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