!

Wednesday, Sept 30 2009
Ahhhh the feeling of not being able to communicate is pure bliss. I was on the phone, hung up one too many times by many companies (because the telephone systems still seems to be from the 1970's! or maybe they just hung up on me) and then to reach someone and painstakingly try to communicate, they all say NEIN they don't speak english! Getting ANYTHING done here is SOOOO DIFFICULT! First, they hang up on you, then they say they'll call you back and don't. Nothing is done correctly, no customer service or very expensive to call customer service. So my cel still doesn't have internet service, Tmobil dsl still has problems and we must live with it. Oh, on a health note, we've discovered that my dry skin, dry lips and constipation is due to the HARD WATER here, the same hard water that leaves the driest, whitest scum mark on everything (coffee makers, cups, etc) so THAT shit is in my stomach and causing me to have these horrid health problems. Nice.
So this place, as ugly a town can be with seriously the ugliest people I have ever seen in one square mile-I have learned that in Germany you must dress up to get any respect around here. If you dress like a bum, they treat you like an immigrant. LOL So, my new thing is to try to dress decent, that is to toss away my go-to Cali flip flops and where closed toe flats, a nice sweater, a good pair of jeans and accessorize, with let's say a 3 carat ring?! In Cali, I only dressed up when I had to or felt the urge to be fashionable, here I must do it to get any help at the deli counter. In case, they turn me away again and I won't get my pork chop. What used to take me 5 minutes to slap something on, has turned into 20 minutes, dressing and undressing. The key is to look nice and yet still be comfortable, because you will be carrying that 5 lb bag of potatoes and the groceries home with you, meaning you will sweat your ass off. Yesterday, I actually saw a guy carrying a 20 lb bag of potatoes, I'm dead serious! The other thing is to remember to wear closed shoes that are super comfortable, I can't tell you how hard it is to walk on cobblestones in heels!!!! How these Germans ok and Europeans do it, is incredible to me. These sluts actually put on 2-3 inch heels, carry heavy bags and walk super fast, no problem! What!??! I don't know maybe I have to train my delicate feet to do this feat. (love the pun!) I am getting better arm muscles, seriously, with carrying all this weight on my arms. Finding the right shopping bag is also a trick. One that can carry a lot but still fit in your bag. One, should never leave without the essentials as stated before, umbrella, notepad, phone, keys, wallet, food, water, tissue, sunglasses, passport, ids, maps, shopping bag, vitamins, lip balm, sunscreen, mirror, bus pass, change, hat, it's like trekking out to the desert. Make sure you don't leave without these items. I've realized I have spent exorbitant amounts of money on buying extra items I cannot find here. Including toiletries, makeup, kitchen supplies, kitchen spices and ingredients, appliances, english books, travel books in english, convertors, transformers, adaptors, sheets, pillows and pillowcases, comforter and inside flat shees (completely unavailable here!), cel phones with adaptors, cameras, electrical appliances (warning: may blow up), suitcases, bags, clothes, food, snacks, anything Asian including myself, I'm even thinking of bringing a mop next time, toothbrushes, hair products, gels, shampoo/cond etc, soaps, lotions, rice cooker, broil pans, cake pans, pie pans, umbrellas, raincoats, coats, coats, coats, woolen socks, woolen underwear, underwear, bras, clothes, gloves, hats, scarves, socks, tights, boots, shoes, tennis shoes, track shoes, workout gear, yoga mat, yoga dvd, dvd player, ipods, shuffles, blankets, cleaning products, lemon juicer, cookbooks...you get the idea, pretty much everything because either they don't have it, it's a piece of shit quality or you will pay 5 times the price here.

Tuesday, September 29 2009
Did you know that a yogurt container has 3 different recycling elements?? It has the paper cardboard container, plastic cup and a foil lid. lollolololol!!! haahhhhha But let's get to the good stuff that is my exciting life in Germany! WHOOHOO! Going to 3 different stores in the neighborhood to look for fresh spinach and never finding any!!! They only have frozen spinach, like frozen fish and frozen vegetables. You are limited to whatever they decide they will carry in the store at that time. Don't even get me started on the pork rib meat I was looking for. As you read before any meat cuts of any kind are impossible to find. NOT like in America, you can't even find beef ribs here. So I'm lugging my bags of grocery home and I see in this classy neighborhood a HUGE dump pile of junk, broken wood furniture, beds and crap. And these immigrants are all loitering around looking through it, staring at it, talking about it, what have you. OK, what a piece of dump area this is! Back to groceries, one store has this, the other doesn't, no wonder they have to put 3 shithole markets in the neighborhood and you still can't find what you need, but you will make 3 stops. And the selection at the grocery market of items to cook with. These people must LIVE on cold cuts and cheese, GROSS! and we're NOT talking delicious, perfectly cured Italian salamis, we are talking cheap, artificial, tasteless, disgusting looking hams and cheeses for these fine tuned tastebuds!! Imagine trying to cook anything here. And I am so craving the Asian food again. I was trying to make Japanese cold ramen noodles with mustard sauce and another Japanese pork ramen. HAHAHAHAHAH! that will take a week to buy ingredients, including several trips to bigger markets (sorry no license to drive yet) and a trip to Munich! HAHAHAH! I think I sound like I'm going crazy and this is not even my first week back. We will have to fly (I mean Drive 4 hours to Frankfurt this month to buy some Korean groceries at a TINY Korean market with limited selection and pay 5 times the price! yay! No, I am not bitter! hahahaha OK here's the deal as we can see I have over 245 items on this darn blog of reasons WHY I HATE IT HERE. So I don't have to explain the bitterness, I got off the plane and all the reasons, feelings and memories just came flooding back. I think I've cried twice already. The night before I left and once here. Don't cry for me Argentina, it's just my fate to be here in this Gosh foresakin place. I just don't know why I'm so lucky here though...
Living in a 3rd world country is tough, every little thing is so hard to do, get done, to buy, to do anything will explain later.

So, decided to change it up a bit and write my fascinating memoirs of my daily life here..here we go...


Saturday, Sept 26 2009
OKTOBERFEST!!! ! WHOOO HOOOO!!! I am so excited to be here in this worldwide known celebration of beer (yum my favorite!), drunks (even better) and Germans who are drunk with beer (that's the ultimate!!!!) Not only was it sooooooooo crowded (hmm 3 million people visiting>?!) we got pushed and shoved everywhere. Imagine Disneyland but absolute chaos, no kids just drunken adults and teenagers, raging out of control, pushing, shoving, puking everywhere, passed out on the floor, everybody smoking, paramedics everywhere, getting plastered, singing obnoxious folk songs and MOST of them wearing the most ridiculous country costumes you have ever seen. Imagine a tent built of wood, filled to the brim of these people, standing on tables holding their beer steins, singing and acting like total drunken fools. Imagine me, the first 5 minutes walking to our table and getting FULL ON PUNCHED in the arm by a "German Drunk" I will call them GRUNKS and yelled "Mai Tai!!!" in the ear. Then all 3 of his friends one after another continuing to yell Mai Tai! Mai Tai! Mai Tai to my face. WOW that was sooooo fun!! Getting racial slurs the second day I'm back! WELCOME BACK TO HELLHOLLE I mean Germany! No, I will not be going to Oktoberfest again, beer, smoke, drunks and racist pigs. No thanks, been there done that!
OMG how can I forget and so I was told by my husband that these wonderful leather lederhosen pants these guys where are NEVER washed and they also like to pee on themselves (I kid you not!) so after a few hours you will start to smell piss and puke everywhere in the tents, a woman passed out on the floor, puke on the floor, and the stench of piss while people grab your face and try to kiss you, or insult you, pushing and shoving. Ok, now I'm done. No, really I'm REALLY DONE here! I'm a Celebrity, get me outta here!!!! oh right, not a celebrity hmm..

245. So I was gone for the 1 month of sun in Armpit Germany. But little did I miss the excrutiating heat and humidity when it actually gets hot here. There are NO air conditioners and NO bug screens, so you are hot, stuffy and get bug bites at night. WHY OH WHY in the 21st century, does it feel like this place is SO primitive?!?! Why can't they make bigger refridgerators or washers, why don't they use dryers, or install garbage disposers? Why not the idea of A/C or bug screens? don't they want to make their lives a little more comfortable!?? It is so backwards here, it's hard to believe they make such nice cars!

244. BOOOOHHOOOOOO!!!
I am back after 3 mos back into this shithole country and city, Augsburg. Already the first night I was welcomed by rain and a German lady pushed me at the market! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!! She didn't even bother to say sorry to me, or even acknowledge me, incredulous! But expected, just didn't think it would happen so soon. Now, I come back and my cel doesn't work, it costs .49 cents euros=80 cents!! a minute to call them, great! and they don't have ANYONE that speaks English! Even better!! Then I call the bank, and the girl was SOOO unbelievably RUDE to me, it pissed me off so much! It never stops here does it?! Everyone in the WHOLE WORLD feels the same way about these people and no wonder why, they really are that way. Tomorrow is Oktoberfest, in which I really don't even feel like going, what better way to see even more drunken Germans acting obnoxious and wearing silly costumes!! Eat fattening foods and drink something OTHER than beer! Oh and it's raining...aghhhhhh