So, decided to change it up a bit and write my fascinating memoirs of my daily life here..here we go...
Saturday, Sept 26 2009
OKTOBERFEST!!! ! WHOOO HOOOO!!! I am so excited to be here in this worldwide known celebration of beer (yum my favorite!), drunks (even better) and Germans who are drunk with beer (that's the ultimate!!!!) Not only was it sooooooooo crowded (hmm 3 million people visiting>?!) we got pushed and shoved everywhere. Imagine Disneyland but absolute chaos, no kids just drunken adults and teenagers, raging out of control, pushing, shoving, puking everywhere, passed out on the floor, everybody smoking, paramedics everywhere, getting plastered, singing obnoxious folk songs and MOST of them wearing the most ridiculous country costumes you have ever seen. Imagine a tent built of wood, filled to the brim of these people, standing on tables holding their beer steins, singing and acting like total drunken fools. Imagine me, the first 5 minutes walking to our table and getting FULL ON PUNCHED in the arm by a "German Drunk" I will call them GRUNKS and yelled "Mai Tai!!!" in the ear. Then all 3 of his friends one after another continuing to yell Mai Tai! Mai Tai! Mai Tai to my face. WOW that was sooooo fun!! Getting racial slurs the second day I'm back! WELCOME BACK TO HELLHOLLE I mean Germany! No, I will not be going to Oktoberfest again, beer, smoke, drunks and racist pigs. No thanks, been there done that!
OMG how can I forget and so I was told by my husband that these wonderful leather lederhosen pants these guys where are NEVER washed and they also like to pee on themselves (I kid you not!) so after a few hours you will start to smell piss and puke everywhere in the tents, a woman passed out on the floor, puke on the floor, and the stench of piss while people grab your face and try to kiss you, or insult you, pushing and shoving. Ok, now I'm done. No, really I'm REALLY DONE here! I'm a Celebrity, get me outta here!!!! oh right, not a celebrity hmm..
An L.A. girl moves to Germany with her new husband only to discover, it is NOT the happiest place in the world..only to become a Desperate Housewife. Follow her life through her first tumultuous year of culture explosion (not shock), mishaps, gripes and the blood, sweat and tears she goes through..Tongue in cheek or unequivocally true, you decide. Use it as a how to guide and what to prepare for before moving to Germany or just to laugh at the asinine events of Life in the Autobahn Lane!!
Look Hate is such a strong word, but I HAD to do something for me, for my sanity living here. Take this blog as something amusing, yes there are a few nice Germans and it can be a nice place to VISIT but NOT to live, sorry! I don't have to apologize for anything I wrote here, it was for me and I found it quite therapeutic. Call it neurotic, obsessive, negative or whatever, I did it for me and you can entertain yourself, educate yourself or just not read it at all! If you do, Enjoy! more to come, I'm sure..Oh and try to read it in order it's more fun! HAHA no. 24, 27, 137 are some of my faves
WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised
CK out the new pictures, they are HYSTERICAL! A picture says 1000 words...
WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised
CK out the new pictures, they are HYSTERICAL! A picture says 1000 words...
Note:
Just a quick note to say thanks for reading and sharing your comments, it makes me feel better to share this and laugh about it together, thought I was the crazy one here. Lesson learned is you can't take the city outta the girl and coming from America and LIVING in Germany is hard for us spoiled Americans! To answer some of your questions, I wrote the first half of this in 3-4 days, all this had happened and was in my head and this was the best way to let it out and my husband was sure sick of hearing it, so I found a more constructive way to let it out. Thanks again for reading and understanding. I hope it makes you laugh! I'm sure one day I will laugh about it too!
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