Monday, June 22, 2009

243. hahahahaha
As I am leaving for LA tomorrow for 3 months WHOOOHOOO!!! the weather here in Armpit is
54 degrees and rain, rain, thunder, thunder, thunder and thunder
hHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! weather in LA is
89 degrees!!! I also got an Urgent request for my departure from my German class that I must inform them in writing why I will be leaving. HAHAHHAHA they cannot scare me anymore, I am so relieved to be away from constantly feeling like I am in trouble, these nit picky anal detail, nosy, busy body Germs and their freaking rules!!! We came back from France yesterday and it was a pleasant sunny 69 degrees and as soon as we entered Armpit, cold and rainy!! Even our German friends asked if we were depressed from all that grey, cold and rain, I said YES!!! of course, who wouldn't be??!?! it's fucking depressing and morbid and I am so glad to be leaving this AWFUL country! I wish I never had to come back! I would take my husband and move to Sunny LA and live happily ever after! So, ADIOS DEUTSCHLAND!!!! Adios freaking neighbors!!
make all the noise you want!! Adios, bad weather, cranky people, depressing weather, nothing to do no movies, tv, or good food, ADIOS!!!!!

Friday, June 19, 2009

242. Punctual Germs
at 1 pm, every single day, every single week, 2 bratty Germ kids come over our apartment building to storm up the stairs to our Germ neighbors above us. Who, we can hear everything they do. The kids get right on the piano and clamor away for hours, it's awful and just imagine a kid just learning to play the piano! Then they bang down the stairs and make so much noise, these people cannot keep still. Today, the grandpa (who is the leader of the rental community here, oh great!) was banging some nails in the hallway. Every single night (or I should say morning at 1:30 in the morning) he takes a piss over our head, right above our bed and I can hear him like Austin Powers in the movie. They have their German phone on the loudest possible ringer so I can hear it every time it rings. Every night their TV is on so loud, I can watch the program with them, Germ Grandpa must be hard of hearing and have insomnia!! They turn on their vibrating bed, which makes our bedroom vibrate like an earthquake, and finally goes to sleep around 2 in the morning, EVERY SINGLE MORNING. These are the same people who own an old, (and the ugliest looking dog I have ever seen, black and grey with shaggy hair, and the size of Marmaduke) ugly dog that barks and echos in the entire hall. I guess the walls are thin here, because I can hear the elevator running at 1 in the morning, which must be them as well and who knows WHAT THE HELL they do at this time, but I must give it to them that they are GERMAN PUNCTUAL!!! And that this pattern does NOT change or take a break, it's day in and day out. Exact same times, exact same patterns! So, bad piano playing, kids, barking dogs, and banging on stuff, I love the neighbors above me and you know we can't complain here, you know they can complain about the 30 inch bamboo fence in our balcony, but we have no right to complain. Oh and there's other neighbors who have wood fences on their balcony, and wood posts for their plants attached to the balcony, ugly white netting for the pigeons, ugly steel fencing covering the entire balcony, satellite dishes, clothes racks, and the tackiest outdoor decoration, but our bamboo fence is a distraction..go figure. Ok 4 more days to go...hypocrites!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

241. Another high quality product
So, our cheap ass Germ made bed, made out of fake wood has broken again. This is the second time the wood plank holding it together broke, this time crushing the wood board under it, nice!! It's less than a year old and we bought it along with the cardboard box bed at RUGA in Baden Baden (for over a THOUSAND EUROS!!!) by the Germ named Herr Wolf, remember?!?! It probably has no warranty, we probably can't return it or even complain about it, no we just have to eat it, as my husband says nobody complains or returns in Germany. It is not customary, remember the .50 cents a minute Base cel customer service number/????!?!
240. I HATE GERMANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just want to make myself clear, and I HATE AUGSBURG and the people here!! Viva la freedom of speech!! (Although I had to make my blog private, in case I get almost arrested again) but really do you blame me after reading everything that happened in the first year of being here?!?!?! This country and the people are insane! Ok, not everything or everyone, but seriously Augsburg SUCKS and the people are so low class, rude, unfriendly A-holes! We are going to France my last weekend here, thank god I LOVE FRANCE, as soon as I cross the border, I feel free and happy!! Better food, nicer people (they are not all rude, I've quite enjoyed them and they seem much friendlier than the Germs!) and a MUCH better country overall! VIVA LA FRANCE!!!!
239. 3rd to 4th week of June weather
no kidding
rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain partly cloudy
Oh, Armpit aka Augsburg Germany....you are a hellhole!
238. Trading up
I love going from freezing cold and snow in the winter to mosquito bites and constant, severe allergies in the summer! I am now covered in bug bites, because of the lack of bug screens in any windows and all the other comforts here! Oh and the dry lips are back! I know sounds all miserable but this place IS miserable!!
How wonderful!
237. And you will never look at a piece of trash the same!
EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF TRASH, everything you cook with, eat, every wrapper, box that may be made with plastic and paper, must be distinguished, crushed, seperated, cleaned and put in the right container. TRUST ME, this will drive you nuts, and you will learn to separate while cooking!
236. I love washing the dishes twice!
So, living with a dishwasher, no garbage disposer, washing machine and dryer and refrigerator, ALL is miniature European size!! you have to get yourself used to crushing everything, stuffing everything and the Germs are so smart, they have huge, wasteful packaging for everything, since they don't give away the thin vegetable bags, everything comes in bulky, plastic cartons instead, SO SMART!!!! So, you have stiff, plastic boxes for strawberries, blueberries, tomatoes, zucchini, carrots, pretty much all fruits and vegetables AND they make you buy like a pound of carrots, which you know you have NO room for, but that's how it is. IT SUCKS and I LOVE washing my dishes again and again because it doesn't work properly and I can't complain to my real estate management company. Washing 1/4 of the stuff in the wash and it takes 3 times as long!
235. 5 days and counting
So I had to rip down the bamboo fence which actually made my balcony half-bearable but was a excuse me???!!! a possible "eyesore" to the Germs who dry their clothes on clothes racks and have junk all over their balcony. Tonight, just 5 more days left, I went to Tengelmann the neighborhood market asking for some sliced pork and was denied service. She refused to help me and said that they clean the machines and can't cut anything for me. The store closed at 8pm and it was only 7:15 pm. My german-speaking husband was luckily with me and he asked again and then she did it. Again, these instances make me laugh or seriously cry. I will TRY again not to take this as a racial discrimination thing, he said it's because they're lazy. Ok, they're lazy, they're lazy, it's not me, they're lazy...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

234. To recap
Just in case you didn't read the 233 number of reasons I have a right to HATE Germany, I will recap just a few that really reminds me. So let's begin:
-Blatant discrimination I faced at the immigration office and losing 2 Armpit apartments because I was Asian. There's no other way to explain those. I remember the landlord actually telling us that we could not put one hole in the walls and that we had to carry down the hundreds of firewood from our balcony to the cellar, before we were even denied the place! haha so funny

-The screaming crazy lady ringing my bell early in the morning to yell at me for not recycling properly and crushing the boxes, ok after a year I am now learning that EVERY thing, EVERY piece of trash must be identified, labeled, and dealt with in it's own proper manner. Think about every time you throw any piece of trash away, somethings have paper and plastic, some are unidentifiable, they must crushed, cleaned and put in the correct bin, one of 7 bins!! Think about it!

-Taking away my rights to drive and not accepting the Arizona drivers license which I paid $400 to get
-The numerous hand written letters every week from our neigbors and the official letters we get from our housemaster, because we did this and that wrong.
-The neighbors telling us we can't bring our friends to use the pool and asking us if we lived here?
-The German asshole telling me to take off my bathing suit in a 4 star hotel here
-Fighting with our real estate agent over money
-Always, Always feel like we're in trouble or we broke a rule and I am OCD and anal and detailed, so WTF?!?!
-They should come up with a HUGE manuscript of "How to live in Germany" as a foreigner and all the rules you will break and get yelled for, don't you think it's better to do WHAT you're doing wrong first??!!
-Recycling every item of trash, disassembling it, crushing it, cleaning it and placing or driving to 7 different recycling bins (my husband and I drove around and spent the entire afternoon, using gas and emitting the air, to return all the bottles and containers to the right store!) He would rather throw them away but you can't when each one can be .25 cents pfand!!!! Do you THINK I like to return the empty plastic water bottles from my trip to Italy?? R u KiDDDING??G??G
-Almost getting arrested at a store, after spending 200 Euros on items, and I'm still a criminal
233. WTF
This is the "What the F*&#@?" section. It will list things that are so WTF I have to just list them.

-Walking into a public restroom and they charge $1 Euro ($1.40 US) for 15 minutes. I walked right out. I mean come on people .50 cents is ridiculous but a DOLLAR??? I say WTF???

-paying for cel phone service and being unable to even use it in other countries and when you want to call them to complain it costs, here it goes, it's quite unbelievable....
$.50 cents a minute to call them!!! I say WTF?!!!! a minute??????? obviously they are not big on customer service here, in fact it just doesn't exist. My husband said you just have to live w problems or things that don't work properly, cause no one complains (who could afford to??)

-The third week of JUNE, the middle of summer and here is the weather forecast for another freaking week:
rain, sunny, sunny, rain, thunder, rain
Ok 6 mo's in Armpit and STILL rain???!?!?!? and not one solid week that there is not rain or not 3 days in a row of sunshine since I've been here WTF WTF WTF?

-Paying $5 dollars for water at a restaurant, every single meal and THEN paying $.50 cents to use their restroom!!!!!!!!! My butt hurts!
232. I take everything back!
I DO HATE them, they give me every reason to HATE them, and HATE it HERE! HATE is such a strong word, but it definitely is an understatement about the people, the country, the rules, and all the other reasons to HATE it here!!
231. The battle continues
So, we found out today who complained a "few" people from across the courtyard. Which is about hundreds of feet from us (2 building lengths distance!), so they must have binoculaurs to notice our bamboo fence which must be an eyesore to them and also that we are breeding pigeons!!! I am so mad, they must WANT to look into our house when we sit on the toilet, because that's the kind of privacy we have here and THAT is why we put up a fence. Oh, and they were very German precise about it, saying "the fence is 30-40cm above the balcony wall height and that it promotes pigeons to breed there. MOTHER FUCKERS! As I said before, we can just keep to ourselves, be the perfect neighbors, make no noise, squash all the cartons in the trash, recycle properly and we are STILL in trouble here!! Ok, so it may not be our neighbors but boy it must be some debate here since we got a handwritten letter first about it! I am tired, oh so tired of always being on the defensive, I am tired of the fighting and complaining, of ALWAYS being in trouble with the German police (aka neighbors) Big Brother is always watching our every move. Oh, speaking of ridiculous we found out that we can have a bbq but it cannot be used 2 days in a row. HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Mother Fuckers

Sunday, June 14, 2009

230. I'm leaving for 3 months to Sunny LA
it cost 1300 dollars, but it's worth every cent, I will be out of this miserable place for 3 months, this blog will take a break HAHAHAHAHA!!
229. No I am NOT crazy!
This fuckin place is, NOW I AM FURIOUS!!! In the last week we received 2 more letters from the housemaster and a neighbor!! Ok, so the first is, as I described this apartment complex is the pits! All the apartments face a courtyard and I swear we have NO privacy so I have to live in the fucking dark with the blinds half down and the curtains covering every window, then we are surrounded by huge apartment complexes that block out the sun and I am barely able to see the sky! So, few weeks ago we noticed 2 disgusting pigeon eggs in our balcony ledge which houses a few remaining bushes from the prior tenant. I insisted on dumping the eggs but my husband thought that was cruel or illegal and said we should leave them. Pigeons have been enemy #1 to our balcony, coming on our ledge, shitting the shit out of it, cooing at all times in the night-they are annoying, filthy and I am so grossed out by them. So, we left the eggs alone and they became baby pigeons, few weeks later we get ANOTHER neighbor writing us a letter that they noticed we are farming pigeons and that we should dispose of their eggs and if they are grown we should wait till they can fly but they are not happy about them. Well FUCKERS, do you think we WANT pigeons out there, you think we're keeping them as pets?!?!?! Then today we got another letter this time official from our real estate agent who forwarded a letter from our housemaster, in official writing that "we have a bamboo fence that is 30-40cm higher than the ledge of our balcony that causes a distraction and promotes pigeons to lay eggs in our balcony." What mother fuckers!!! Excuse the FUCKING French! So, BIG WURST ASS German Brother is looking into our balcony, and I can only see 2 people who can actually see all the details (30-40 cm!@!!*!*!*) that is our next door neighbor OR THE MOTHER FUCKER ASSHOLE who lives on top. My husband just told me today that HE is in charge of the Renters community in our building so of course HE's the one. The same ASSHOLE that sleeps every night at 2 in the morning, remember? the one who takes a piss over our head at 1 am, has his grandkids run up and down the stairs, come over every single day and play badly on the piano from 2-4 pm, has the biggest sized dog I have ever seen, who barks and echos in the hallway. Yeah THAT neighbor! We had put up a nice bamboo fence to try to get some privacy first (so when you sit on the toilet your neighbors can't stare in and next to prevent the pigeons from crapping on our balcony and try to make this god-awful place look decent. Lemme tell you this is NOT some luxury apartment building oK!??! you should see the view, full of FAT Germans sunbathing or peering out their windows, clothing racks full of clothes everywhere, satellite dishes and ugly ugly 70's paint, rundown buildings, and bad tacky decorating on their balconies. One of our neighbors went so far as install a steel fence to block off their balcony from these thousands of pigeons (who only are around in big, dirty, cities like Armpit!) I've never dealt with them where I used to live in California! WOW, again the hypocricy of it all, how nosy and meddling they are, how absolutely annoying and intrusive they are here, I HATE THE SCHWABISH! who are known to be obstinate pigs! and I can't stand these people or this place!>?!?!?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

228. So the reasons grow
I really didn't want to continue complaining and sometimes I feel guilty writing the blog, so I stopped but things continually annoy me and the list keeps growing and it doesn't seem to end. NO it doesn't seem to be getting better, I am just growing to accept it and try to get used to it, the weather, the rudeness, the food shopping nightmares, etc. We are also taking many trips to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, every chance we get. I think we've traveled the last few weekends and I am also trying to fly to LA for possibly 3 months (and stay if I could!!!!) but am having trouble changing the flights it's also super expensive for some reason. Flying from US to Europe, everything is on sale 400 dollars! but fllying Europe to LA, 1400 dollars!! WHOOO HOOO! So I am still cking flights!

227. Weather Report
So, it's literally the SECOND week of JUNE, HELLO!??!??!?! SUN are you OUT there!?!?! this is insane!! Here's the weather report for the week
thunder, rain, rain, thunder, thunder, part sun with rain (have you ever seen a sun with rain coming out of it??! that's the pix!!) rain
Well, as you can see the weather STILL has not improved, meaning you can't go out and enjoy summer like the rest of the world, you still can't wear shorts, you still have to carry an umbrella and a coat, and it's still grey and depressing, JOY!!!
So, I started reading the book Twilight, great book, but when she starts describing the weather there, a blanket of clouds of grey everyday, it feels like a cage?? THAT is the weather here, after 6 months straight of being here, I think I have NOT seen 3 straight days of sunshine and there has not been 1 whole week without rain, I SWEAR! and the nice weather seems to continue here...

226. Tonight I almost got in a Fight!
We went to see Terminator tonight and it was the english version and this is hard to do, it's been sooooo long since we've actually been able to go to the movies. Those kinds of things you take for granted in the US. So we're sitting in our seats watching 30 minutes of Germ commercials and previews and the movie was great, halfway through I'm smelling a particular odor and I look to the seat next to me and there are 4 feet laying on the empty seat next to me, couple inches next to my head and one pair is bare ass stinkin feet. I wait and wait thinking that they will probably put their feet down but they don't. Then the guy sitting directly behind me keeps pushing my chair and pulls it back every time he gets up. So really I don't want to sit the next hour with these stinky Germ feet I turn around and tell them to please put their feet down, they do. But 2 seconds later, I see the Germ sitting behind me has positioned his feet to go up at an angle to where theirs was. ASSHOLE GERM! WOW, they have nothing better to do, than to ruin our enjoyment of the movie to make fun and provoke us?? I tell my husband, who really is the most patient guy out there and a peacemaker, but this is too much. He turns around and asks and the GERM has the audacity to yell back at him, "Well did you guys purchase the empty seat next to you?!?!" AGHHH this goes on for minutes in German and I am incredulous at the low class GERMS in Armpit!!! I am shaking at this point ready to bop him one, the movie finallly ends, I turn around give him 2 fingers and call him an asshole, before we leave. He starts laughing and again, I am so in love with this place!! So, my husband tells me that even his German work colleagues don't go out to see movies, because people are so rude in the theaters!!! UNBELIEVABLE, well so it JUST doesn't happen to me, and of course this kind of thing happens in LA but it seems to be a pattern here. Rudeness, coldness, lack of respect etc.
I can't tell you how many crippled, handicapped and elderly people are here and NO ONE helps them, I try to but I can see that NO ONE here has any manners or sympathy! WOW what a freaking Armpit of a place!