2oo. The Mattress Story
There once was a girl and she moved to a far away country. When she moved there she went with a fairy prince who told her everything would be allright. Once she got to this country she didn't know anything, not the language or any of the customs or even how to buy furniture. So she and the prince went shopping one day to buy a bed. The big, bad retail store guy named Wolf ( I am NOT KIDDING!! That was his real name!) told them they ONLY had 2 choices, he showed them the first bed, she sat on it and it was waaaaay too soft. (She wouldn't had made such a big deal over this process but she had spent 2 weeks on an Ikea bed in her temporary furnished apartment and woke up with back pains so bad she had to sleep on the couch for a week and had excruciating back pains and swore she would get a good mattress). She told Wolf that it was too soft and had no support so he told showed her another mattress that was stiff as a board. Now, she knew it wouldn't do either and she insisted that Wolf and her prince check the other floor with the other mattresses. She took them upstairs and noticed a brand name bed that she saw in a magazine and it was much more comfortable than the other two. But the prince who hated shopping or shopping around took the evil Wolf's advice and said let's just choose between the two. The girl was very confused, why can't we have other choices and find the perfect matttress, one is too soft and the other is too hard, but for some evil reason the Wolf insisted on these two freaking mattresses and said these other ones (the ones with the good name) were for old people with back problems and convinced my prince to go back downstairs. Now, from what the girl remembered there wasn't much of a price difference either, but I'm sure the ASSSHOLLLEE Wolf would probably only get the fREAKING! commission on the downstairs merchandise and hence MADE us buy the piece of S@#T mattress downstairs. So, unhappily the girl had to choose the way too hard mattress for a lot of coins (around 1000 Euros which is like 1400 USD!!!!!) and it came with not a box spring mattress but a WOOD SLAT as the bottom support. It seemed ok at first but as the months went by, the mattress felt harder and harder and the girl woke up with back pain every night. She had predicted this would happen and unfortunately her prince did NOT listen to her and will now have to pay the price, which is to buy another overpriced mattress in this gosh forsaken country with no warranties or refunds!!! It may have been better if the girl had fat on her back to cushion her against the rock hard mattress, but not being a big-boned, thick skinned German woman! she did not have that protection. So, now we have an unhappily ever after story of the girl who wakes up every morning feeling like she's been beat up around her back and chest and tried everything including putting a feather comforter to ease the pain and it hasn't worked. But who could make this mattress softer, it's so hard you could even bounce a Euro on it, and we're not talking about the sheets!!! So, the girl dreams every night of leaving this awful country and hopefully returning back to her loved homeland...and a comfortable box spring mattress to sleep on.